Posts Tagged ‘Grumpy Old Git’

…where the bloody hell ARE YOU?

Being a resident of ‘Great’ Britain, I have now all but forgotten what a sunny summer looks like. I have vague unspecific childhood memories of being very very hot, of pavements burning the feet, tarmac melting, a brown garden instead of a green one. Of course, being a child, it was brilliant! It didn’t bother me that people all over the country were boiling to death, I was having a great time. Now, with that selfish streak still very much in evidence, I sit here, staring dolefully out of a window streaming with rain, wondering when I will next get the opportunity to grab 10 minutes of gardening between the showers.

By the time I do get into the garden, job permitting, everything’s about 12 foot high and I need an industrial flamethrower just to get the lawn back to a reasonable height.

Ah well, that’ll teach me to be born in a temperate zone on a planet which is two thirds water I suppose. (Administers hefty exagerrated Basil Fawlty type smack to own arse)

In other news – my journey home from work tonight was slowed almost to a standstill because somebody was hit by a road sign. Presumably this large, flourescent sign leaped out in front of their car. Heaven forbid that I suggest they were, perhaps, DRIVING LIKE AN ARSEHOLE IN POURING RAIN……  I do hope that, whoever they are, they’re not hurt. Actually, no, I don’t, I think it’s about time people were consistently punished for being dim. I certainly have been all my life, so why not other people? I have been punished so often, in fact, that I now actually learn from OTHER PEOPLE’S MISTAKES! I know, revolutionary eh? I’ve personally never had a car crash in bad weather because I see it happen all the time, so I slow down, put lights on, make sure I’m fully aware of the road ahead and behind and stay alert. No, really, it can be done. Presumably it’s not done very often because it’s not ‘cool’ to be safe, it’s very very boring. Well, fine, carry on killing each other, the gene pool’s better off without you. Bastards.

I’m going now because I can feel the red haze coming. Again.



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