Archive for January, 2009

Aubergine Bicycle Clips

Ummm, sorry about that…  I had to spend a month dead for tax reasons. But I’m back and tonight I want to waffle mindlessly on about PAIN…

Recently I ran out of aftershave. For some inexplicable reason I decided to try some ‘Aftershave Soothing Balm’ – fucking face cream in other words. What a pansy. I discovered several very annoying consequences of smearing that crap over my chops – it doesn’t absorb very well for a start. It looked like I had foundation on by 10am. Not a good look (not for me, anyway). Also, bloody everything sticks to it. It’s been cold lately, but I really didn’t want to spend my morning at work picking bits of scarf-fluff off my damn face.

Worst of all – it doesn’t sting! One of the most life-affirming moments of the day is that wonderful feeling of alcohol splashing on razored skin… I love it. I actually hadn’t realised this until I missed it. Now I’m a bit perplexed – am I a masochist? I started to analyse other forms of pain I’ve experienced recently – sciatica, toothache to name both of them – and realised I’m not, no way, most pain I could happily do without. But do masochists enjoy toothache? Probably not, they pursue a combination of pleasure and pain, which is what the morning sting is. So maybe I am…

Certainly sex involves a subtle combination of pleasure and pain (more so once you’re my age!) and I’m quite keen on that it has to be said. Then again, I don’t tie things or pierce things or slash things. Hmm. Nope, I reckon everyone enjoys that daily searing pain, even those that don’t. Feel free to prove me wrong.

As for the aubergine bicycle clips… I’ll leave you all hanging on that one…


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